Thoughts from the NICU...

We are now forty-six days into being NICU parents. For forty-five of those days I've been trying to process my thoughts about that fact (only because the first 24 hours were a blur). I attempted to prepare myself for being a NICU mom during the nine weeks of bed rest prior to our delivery, and since then I've realized that the four weeks I spent as an intern in the NICU does little to help. You read that it is a roller coaster, only to find out that is true, and that ups and downs in regards to your children are difficult to stomach. We've had to go through two setbacks in getting our little girl home. And at the same time we've been able to celebrate being parents of a NICU 'graduate' who's only resemblance to a preemie is his small size for his age, and who gets to keep us up like every other newborn.

Remarks have been made about how hard this must be for us. And though I would never wish being a NICU parent on anyone, in processing my thoughts, even the ones that asked, "why me?", I've realized at the end of the day, I'm thankful.

• I'm thankful that when I wanted two children but only thought I'd have one because of my age, I was blessed with twins.
• I'm so very thankful that a hospital admission for observation and bed rest was stretched into three weeks, and almost six more weeks of bed rest was spent at home.
• I'm thankful for the friends and family that have thought of us and prayed for us during that time.
• I'm thankful for the people we don't know that prayed for us anyways.
• I'm especially thankful for the moms that have prayed for us that have endured so much more, and more than any mother should ever have to go through. You know who you are. I think of Job when I think of you.
• I'm thankful for my partners who have been taking care of my patients.
• I'm thankful for my two beautiful children.
• I'm thankful for the singing noise my son makes when he's sleeping or eating.
• I'm thankful that my little girl has so much fight in her. She is truly the one who is making me stronger, and then again, don't all daughters do that to their mothers?
• I'm thankful for the NICU nurses and staff that have loved on my children and us.
• I'm thankful that God understood where I was coming from when I bargained with Him.
• I'm thankful for little brother Eddie, who made sure I did as little as possible when I was on bed rest and has been an extra set of hands since the babies were born.
• I'm thankful for the women who have locked arms around our little family who despite the distance between us, have never let me feel alone.
• I'm thankful that when I haven't been strong, Tony has.
• I'm thankful that no matter what happens, our Father is faithful and true.

Jackson

Natalie